he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
