please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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