No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
