Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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