Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
