No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
