I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
