Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
