I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
