Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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