help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize