Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
