lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize