that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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