the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
