i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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