i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize