she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
