Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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