sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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