Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
