i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize