I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
