u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
