redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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