It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize