I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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