Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
