Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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