It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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