You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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