Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize