i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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