I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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