ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i've created a new STD.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
