so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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