oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
