D3 body, D1 cock
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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