Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
