"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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