it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
