so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
