Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
