Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
