Cold hands, warm shart.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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