Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
splinters make it hard to masturbate
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Someone shattered a urinal.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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