I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
