I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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