You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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