I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
