She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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