On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
