thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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