If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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