If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
