Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
