all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize