dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
