so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
