at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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