come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize